Qabalah Water

(This title signifies all things occult int he ceremonial sphere - pun related to the different Romanised renderings of the Hebrew QBL. The insidious Kabbalah Centre has appropriated Jewish mysticism and turned it into glorified self-help. "Kabbalah Water?" Piss off - check out this discussion: http://curiouscurandera.blogspot.com/ in particular the poster "Caliban's" first response explaining the K/C/Q distinction)

Okay so me and another eCT member, Soror L, have been planning a series of Enochian workings based on the framework in Lon Milo Duquette's recent book "Enochian Vision Magick" http://www.amazon.com/Enochian-Vision-Magick-Introduction-Practical/dp/1578633826/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1211189236&sr=1-3

We brought two other order members on board who we knew would be interested. We've so far only been talking, and Soro L and I had a crafty day where we began to construct the Watchtowers, and draw the Ensigns, etc.

Since then we've been in the process of coming up with a name for the group and the workings. I consulted with a Latin scholar and we've all but settled on "Spiritis Factis Magorum Tolpanis" or the Spirit Actions of the Magicians of Tolpan. Tolpan is the 58th Part of the Earth as described in Liber Scientiae Auxilii et Victoriae Terestris (1585) which was described by the angels as being "under the South Pole" - hence is popularly believed to cover much of Australasia. Dee and Kelley referred to their workings as "actions" or "spirit actions" hence the name "Spiritis Factis Magorum Tolpanis." We may very well receive a word or name from the spirits ourselves to augment this title - I'd be very interested to see if there is an Enochian word with can attach to it. For instance, tolpan is the name "given by Man" but it is called ZILDRON "as named by God." The angels frequently communicate in gestures and symbols which act like passes, and can be accompanied by word-like sounds - at least in my limitted experience of the Enochian realms. The letter-essences work of Benjamin Rowe I've found useful in interpretting these Enochian words.

Anyway I won't talk too much about the actual results of this work here - we'll have a blog dedicated to that once we start up some serious "actions."

Five Cougars Thanks

Wey-hey! finally I get the time, and the space to add something vaguely titilating to this blog. Hopefully I can draw some crowds here eventually!

For those of you who aren't Aussies and don't get the reference:
http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=AlDXTc8IJ7c

So yes - hotness = five Cougars thanks! (NOTE: I am in no way endorsing Cougar bourbon. In fact bourbon makes me retch). I'm hoping I have the upload technique correct - they look a bit tiny here, but ideally you can all click on them and make them bigger.

I used to have a theory this was Ilario Rongioletti, but I'm now certain it's not - any help?

Love the clothed bodybuilder look. Any ID?

Beautiful shape.

I know he's breathing in here - but the roidgut-look is fabulous. Anyone have an ID?

Is this Tommi Thorvilsdsen? Or have I had too many Boxing Day beers? Beautiful and casual either way.

Naturally anyone with issues over copyright with these images (I try to always save with the original filename, or the name of the model, and I keep the watermark if it's there), please let me know and I'll remove the image immediately.

Hope y'all had a fantabulosa Christmas.

Pimping News

Okay so the date with the Leb was nice. We saw Twilight - might or might do a separate IMHO post about it - was even worse than the book.

He was much more conversational this time. Had more to say. I think he's grown up this year in some ways. He also thought the movie was crap.

We both got there early and had juice in the food court, then browsed shops a bit and chatted. When we got int he cinema he asked me why I reinitiated contact back on that day when I'd had a few drinks. I couldn't explain it well without saying "I'd had a few drinks." I said it, but also that I was genuinely curious about what he was up to. Perhaps I've always felt guilty about meeting him and then saying I didn't want to go anywhere with him - timing was always bad.

I don't know what it is. Perhaps it's just the idea of him, but he does turn me on. Then something about being with him face to face makes me balk. I dunno. He gave me a lift home, and I said catching up before Xmas/NY would be hard, so early in the new year we should catch up. He seemed fine with that.

Stake Huggers

Had the Pagans in the Pub replacement event on the weekend - "Divination in the Park." Was really very nice. Only four of us in the end. Surprising considering how gorgeous a day it was, but then the day before had been torrential rain and icy winds - could have deterred people.

The two organising regulars were there - Chandler and Kiwi - and a New Girl. Chandler actually gave me one of his hand made candles - really lovely.

We sat down in Chatswood Park (in a fenced playground which looked like it was designed by a team coinsisting of Gaudi, Dali, Tim Burton, and MC Escher) and proceeded to lay out our divination tools. All I brought was my Thoth deck. Briefly toyed with bringing the Chinese coins for I Ching I bought years ago and never used, left my rune set as three are broken and again, I don't really use them, and I couldn't find my pendulum, which is gorgeous, but again something I never use. Then from the others came the Fairy Oracle cards and the Destiny Cards, etc, etc. We didn't end up looking at them thankfully - Angel Cards and their ilk make me want to vomit pink feathers. Horses for courses.

The Kiwi had brought along her I Ching oracle as it happened. It was actually really interesting. Required a lot of thought. I asked about the audition I had. Basically it said don't put all your eggs in a basket which is an unknown quantity. In other words don't plan for a year of work when it may not happen. I wasn't. I also asked about my love life, and to be honest I can't remember the response. Something typical like "Wait." Then we did a couple of Tarot readings. I did one for the Kiwi which I was quite proud of. Then I did one about my schoolboy crush. Again, oddly I can't for the life of me remember the result. I showed them all geomancy, which none of them had encountered - and I realised I'd forgotten a lot about it. Couldn't remember the names of three of the figures, and I even forgot two of them. Bizarre.

Then we did a bit of psychometry. I enjoyed this - the Kiwi had brought all these little objects like ballet shoes and a bit of masonry. I'd only ever read off metal objects so I was suprised to get a whole lot from the ballet shoes. New Girl had never done it and didn't know what she was doing, but gained confidence and got some pretty good hits!

Ended with us going for coffee. Coincidentally we discovered that the Kiwi's teacher is a woman I met in my year up in Armidale. Totally random. One of those people who have been in the Pagan/Magickal community for a while, and have assumed a position of authority for themselves. I really disliked her at firs,t but I think because I impressed her with a ritual she decided I was worth her time, and I saw a different side of her. I developed a lot fo respect for her knowledge and experience, but I just can't see how someone who claims to be so spiritually advanced/evolved can behave in such a superior fashion. She said things like "So why Vodou?" as though it was a really odd, and frankly irrational choice. I wanted to say "Why witchcraft? Why Islam?" Again. Horses for courses. And I'm aware of the double standard. But she was incredibly knowledgable, and generous once she decided you were worth it.

Anyway, I caught the train to the city with the New Girl and we had a great chat.

Sinister Pincushions

Okay, hopefully last post for the day. This blog is looking like all words when it needs to be half words, half pictures. Well I'm at work and can't really upload anything. Hot pics will have to wait until I get the net at my new place, or I'm staying with my folks for Christmas.

I've carried the basics of Maman Brigitte's altar over to the new place. I reckon my balcony is going to be the best place for altars. So I've put her stuff there on one side of it, and have the beginnings of a Legba altar on the other side - I need to give him what he's owed as well as fulfilling my obligations to Brigitte. I just need the available funds!

I might try to set up a space for LaSirene somewhere too - she was so persistent in trying to get my attention earlier in the year, but has only been a little present since I fed her - just popking me every now and then. I think I need more of her in my life. Love, strength, spirituality, depth. Too much surface of late.

In My Hyperbolic Opinion...

This will be the title of my review posts. I'll tag them as films, theatre, books, etc. Today, one which is on everyone's lips and which I was at first ashamed to admit I was reading...

"Twilight" by Stephenie Meyer.

Remember The DaVinci Code? Remember how everyone read it because everyone was reading it? Twlight is 2008's equivalent. Harry Potter had a similar quality - I only picked up the first book because of the constant talk about it - however the difference is that Harry Potter was more than just a page turner, and JK Rowling knows the difference between a transitive and an intransitive verb.

The story in a nutshell: Bella moves to a tiny, rainy, isolated town in Washington state call Forks, in a move which mystifies both her mother in Phoenix, and her father with whom she goes to live, not to mention the reader, who is left in the dark for a while as well. Cue all the same old anxieties about coming to a new school, all the classic experiences of entering a brand new class room, meeting brand new people, making friends, enemies, etc. The difference here, which is probably one of the main strengths of the book, is that Bella is not entirely your confident outgoing girl, nor is she entirely your shy awkward type. She straddles both of these types as someone with a lot of self awareness (but not too much for a 17yo mercifully), which makes the attendant insecurities of adolescence something she strives both to own with pride and get on with things in spite of. Bella is in this way a well rounded inherently human character.

Cue the devastatingly beautiful (and he's rarely described as anything else except "devasating," or "beautiful") and naturally highly mysterious Edward. He and his pose of pale skinned blood-drinkers naturally sit far away from everyone else, and it's only because of the cliched "lab partner" device that Bella and Edward are thrown together. Edward however clearly has some issues with Bella. As the story progresses, and Bella becomes more and more obsessed with Edward's unpredictable moods and cryptic hot and cold statements, we learn that his issues with Bella aren't just her waif like appeal and propensity for falling over things - she is his own personal eqivalent of vampire crack cocaine. And for a "vegetarian" vampire this presents a problem. This is about as deep as Edward's "inner turmoil" gets. He wants Bella, but doesn't want to hurt her. He is essentially a cardboard cut-out of every other boy character with a conflict of interests. He behaves predictably, and when his eventual outpouring of truth occurs, it's pretty out of left field. He also doesn't quite behave like a 100 year old vampire should. Very adolescent indeed. He's not a patch on Angel, I'm telling you. His family is by far much more interesting, and charismatic to boot. Thier motivations are clear and make sense. Edward's are just, as I said, predictable. Far from being the perfect man, he is just like all the rest. Conflicted, incapable of expressing what he really feels, and prone to the same old mistakes as almost every other hero of teensploitation romance.

Add to this the fact that all Edward seems to be able to do with his face is narrow his eyes or make them smoulder, and either press his lips together or curl them into a devastatingly beautiful smile. The language and the descriptions are all incredibly simplistic and frequently repetitive. A good editor could have suggested innumerable other ways to describe things, phrase things (you can't "respond" someone for instance, although you can "respond to" them). Some scenes needed much more time spent on them, and other scenes were patently unecessary. Essentially it reads like a piece of fan fiction, and I smell an online writing forum somewhere in its history. Great story, mediocre execution with one or two saving graces.

"Twilight" isn't a terrible book, but it's certainly not fabulous. The story is very sweet, and there are certainly some very exciting moments (the flight from Forks to Phoenix in particular). As I said it IS a page turner, because you want to know how and if this impossible situation will resolve itself, and what complications will arise. In that sense, it is a great story, and I look forward to finding out where it goes in the subsequent books already out on the market. Maybe, like JK, Stephenie Meyer will have learnt something about writing prose and will build on this foundation, shaky though it may be.

I'll comment on the movie after is see it on Sunday with my date!

Pimping News

Okay this is the interim title, until I think of a wittier one, for posts relating to my oh so exciting love life, or lack thereof.

Leaving aside the man I've got a massive school boy crush on - and by that I mean I really want to just hold hands with him and skip around the playground - that's quite a complex story. I don't think I'm in love with him, but it's the knowledge that he's the sort of man I could very easily BE in love with that makes my heart ache. Anyway. Later.

I'm meeting up on Sunday with a guy I've had an on and off text/email relationship with for around three years. It's a bit bizarre. First contact was on Gaydar. One of those stupid nights where I have a bit of wine and just end up browsing profiles, sending the odd message. Anyway I sent one to this guy, and he replied straight away. We hopped on to MSN, he seemed sane, and I was drunk so when he asked me for my number I gave it to him. Then he called me almost straight away. We chatted, it was nice. Next morning - remorse, regret. I think I was pinging for a guy I'd been with about a year ago because we'd just had a bit of a pash on a dancefloor a few nights before. So when he called the next day I tried to back away nicely. Using aforementioned contact with my ex as an excuse (heh, EX-cuse). He was pretty reactive though, took it very personally, in a kind of self-deprecating way, and then we left it at that.

Then there was a bit of contact after that, just cordial online chatting. Then he reinitiated full contact on Gaydar while I was in Armidale in 06. We couldn't meet up but we chatted a little bit. When I came back to Sydney Facebook happened, as did my most recent relationship. I stumbled across this guy after my break up, and stupidly said yes to a date.

This was the first time we actually met in real life. We saw a movie, had lunch, it was nice. He's Lebanese, which I LOVE, but something about him felt really young, and a little inexperienced or awkward. I know at the time he wasn't out to his family - effectively couldn't be because of their cultural perspective. I'm wary of guys in those situations because of the mentality it must foster. I had a small experience of that myself, but my hiding my sexuality wasn't because I thought (or knew) my parents would disown me, just because I wasn't ready to change who I was in their eyes. I knew they wouldn't have a problem, so I can't imagine what it must be like to know with certainty that your family could never and would never accept your sexuality.

Well this guy was pretty down to earth, but hadn't had any kind of relationship before. I felt like the grown up. Plus conversation was a bit stilted - I like to talk in case you haven't noticed, at length! We met up for another movie a week later before he actually asked me directly where I wanted to go with it. I took the out he was offering (probably as a defense mechanism for himself) because - and it was true - I wasn't over my ex. Not even half.

Anyway since then I've watched him move through life a bit on Facebook - he's doing lots of adult things, and really getting himself organised, in shape, branching out in ways I couldn't have predicted that young guy back then would have. Then he got in touch with me again a few weeks ago, and asked if I wanted to meet up. So here we go - we're seeing Twlight (I'll get to that) on Sunday and having lunch beforehand. I'm going to bombard him with questions to keep him talking.

I have no idea what the outcome will be - he'll probably deliver an ultimatum again - do you want to see me again, or do you want to leave it here? - but I'll just see how we go. I'm not going to burn bridges after one more meeting. Plus I find him very attractive physically, and I know he's been kicking it at the gym for a while and really looking in shape... I'll update y'all after Sunday!

Industrial Action

This is the title for any posts relating to my acting career. In the sense of "action" in my "industry." Brilliant.

Anyway, I had an audition for a touring Theatre In Education (TIE) company last weekend (day of my house move conveniently enough). I had to prepare a monologue and a song. They said there would be a cold read but I didn't see anything.

It was at the Newtown Neighbourhood Centre - which hosts a variety of community events and has cheap spaces for hire. I rehearsed there once for a play when Sydney had a Fringe Festival.

Anyway I arrived, there were three people standing on the front steps waiting for people to arrive, and a sign stuck on the door saying "Auditions" with an arrow pointing inside. As I approached the both smiled at me very warmly, the woman said "Are you here for the..." gesturing inside, to which I replied "Yes, I'm here for the..."

She said "Wonderful, my name's Carol" The man introduced himself as well telling me to just go straight upstairs and grab a seat - there would be drinks provided. I thouight this was quite surprising and all very pleasant for an audition process. Anyway, up the stairs I went to the meeting hall. Sure enough there were seats arranged in rows, with a table at the back, biscuits, cordial, tea, coffee, and two big banners hung either side of a lectern with 12 big Steps proudly displayed. At this point I remembered that, yes, the audition instructions had said the GROUND floor. I went back downstairs and found a couple of girls waiting, filling out forms. This was the right place. I wasn't there for an AA meeting. At least not yet!

Although I half expected one of the people from the door to come in and ask me if I was lost, and if I was REALLY where I wanted to be...

A freind from a kids' show I did earlier this year arrived. We caught up briefly. Then, typically, we were asked to come in together - the instructions said nothing about a "group" audition so naturally I was nervous. The gentleman running it seemed nice - he suggested we take a minute to warm up in the space. We were all a little bit self-conscious as a) it was a very small room and b) we had all been expecting to come in and show off for the audition panel only, now we had to do it in front of three other people. Off putting. The whole thing had a bit of an amateur feel, but I knew that this company had been running many years, and could actually afford to pay Equity rates as well as fly their cast all over Australia.

Anyway, I did my piece first as I had to get home to start moving. Last of the Red Hot Lovers - one of my standard contgemporary pieces. Good emotional range, naturalistic character, bit of comedy.

Then he asked me to sing. Now I can sing - I'm not at musical theatre or opera standard but I can sing. He didn't give me much of a chance though and I felt very patronised when he stopped me after two lines and told me just to sing Happy Birthday. Then to sing up the scale. I got the sense that either singing wasn't overly important, or that it was important and this fancied himself an expert when he looked more like an enthusiast. Harsh and pretentious I know. Oh well. I got a callback so that's good. No instruction on what extra, if anything to prepare. So I'll just turn up.

Bumped into a friend from acting school outside - one of the ones I hardly ever see but love seeing every time I do. Brief catch up, then off to move.

Will update y'all on the callback after tomorrow.

Phonotactical Advantages

Had another student, this time for a Czech accent. This student is a friend which is always nice - they're more forgiving. A good thing when I've never had anything to do with Czech accents before. So I put in a lot of research time, and managed to pull together some notes and resources for her, and she was really happy.

The vowels were the hardest to pin down for me. On the surface it looked easy: Czech only has 10 monophthongs - 5 long and 5 short (versions of a, e, i, o, u essentially), and only three diphthongs occuring regularly in the language, with others occuring more often in foreign words and with distinctive qualities. But it was how these were applied to English words which presented the challenge. The prosodic features of Czech are also very complex - I didn't concentrate on them, although they'd probably explain a lot of what I observed just listening to speakers.

Mostly the /u/ and /o/ vowels seem very rounded and dark. The "e" sound is very open, tending towards the TRAP vowel at times. While Czech language has the long and short vowels the distinction appears less clear in English, so "who" and "would" sound quite close, as do "his" and "ease."

Consonants are much easier. Voiced "th" becomes "d" while voiceless "th" becomes "s" (more often in the intial position - I heard it pronounced as "th" in words like "with") There is the "v/w" confusion most stereotypical of Russian, mostly observed initially as in "very" and "video" - but "v" can be devoiced in the final position in words like "of" and "love." "l" is quite dark. "z" tends to be devoiced when final, as in "was" and "keys." Plosives tend to be "poppy" - voiceless and voiced being a little close to Western ears as the voiceless tend to lack aspiration. Although, when occuring in a consonant cluster such as after "s" there is a very marked aspiration - as in words like "sport", "start", "script", or "scary".

The difficult consonant to pin down is "r" - there are two separate phonemes in Czech, a trill and a fricative. They can both also be voiced or unvoiced (I think I've got that right). In English we only have one /r/ phoneme, with numerous allophones occuring in different speakers, in different contexts, eg. "rare" means the same thing if the first "r" is an approximant and you don't pronounce the second (as in Australian or British English) as if you pronounce both "r's" as approximants (as in US English) or if you roll the first and tap the second to lead into a word starting with a vowel (as an RP speaker may). But in Czech these different realisations could affect the meaning of the word - hence the distinctions are harder for English speakers to hear and realise in the appropriate context because we conceive of the phoneme differently.

I found a YouTube video of a Czech model giving a message to her fans and appealing for help for people in Prague who had lost property, etc during floods. Was very useful. There were also a few vlogs in English from Czech speakers.

In any case my student was happy. She has her first meeting for the play next week I think - it's a relatively high profile production so it would be good for me to have a link to it.

Pumping Iron

Hasn't happened in almost a fortnight. It's killing me. I think that last workout I posted was actually the last one I did. It's all moving house and work being all over the place. Normally at this point in the year the call centre is really winding down - it's been winding down all year this year. But it's been really pretty busy. Great for money, not great when you have to move house as well, hence, bad for training.

Result is that due to poverty, lack of fridge to keep fresh, much less frozen food in, and time, I have also been eating terribly. I'm also trying to minimise the amount I'm drinking as well because the time of year.

So yeah, I'm holding a bit of water, the progress I'd made on my chest and arms feels like it's gone - I know it's not, but I'm feeling pretty flabby. Hate it.

Breaking News

Okay, so updating has been a challenge with erratic work and no net at home. Best laid plans.
So I'll post several small updates today on relevant topics. (I have a triple shift at the call centre, which means 8:30-8:30 so have LOTS of time on my hands today)

The miscellaneous news is that my house move went fine. I'm still halfway between places with some basic things still at my old place, but mostly just my ritual gear. While my new room is huge, I do actually have a little less space than my wild fancies were envisioning. The room is your basic Sydney terrace house master bedroom on the upper floor, with a balcony. It has a westerly aspect (reminds of a drag name I thought would be especially good: Easter-Lea Aspect) and nice white louvers. The complications are the built ins on the south wall and the fireplace on the north wall. I LOVE the fact that I have both of them, but it just removes a lot of wall space for all my books, not to mention altar space. It looks like I'll have to move my altars to the balcony. Perhaps I'll be able to have on in the attic but it depends on what the other flatmates need to store there - two of them have the smaller rooms, hence have precedence for attic space. I still need to construct my bed because I have no screwdrivers. Working on it.

Getting to know new housemates a little bit. We have two females and one other male. I'll call the two females the Techie and the Actress, and I'll call the male the Dancer (although he's also a techie, a singer, a medical student, and a carnie - almost as diverse as a gay bodybuilding occultist thespian. But not quite). The Actress I already knew beforehand, but not very well. She seems to be keeping to herself a bit, organising her room, plus she's in a new relationship so is naturally spending time on that. We get along nicely. The Techie has a show opening this week and seems to be so tied to the production that she is litterally there 24 hours a day sometimes. She's always apologising for not being sociable as a housemate but I can totally understand. She also hasn't even been able to properly move herself in yet.

The Dancer is a little bit weird. Seems nice enough, just a little bit weird. He's a Country Gay so that could be it. (by that I just mean that I've noticed City Gays are largely *whistles blowing, ribbons flying, hands waving, high, flamboyant voice* GAY!!!, whereas Country Gays are *hands by side, serious stare from the dim recesses of the bar, deep, flat voice* Gay. ) He also smells a bit. And by this I don't mean he could do with a bit of deodorant - he uses WAY too much of that hideous Lynx spray - I mean that I was in my room having gone to bed, when he arrived home the other night and opened the door to his room. Under my door wafted this odour of feet, stale sweat, aforementioned Lynx, and clothes badly in need of a wash. I stuffed a towel under the door to stop it. I'm praying it's only because we only just got a washing machine, and he needed to wash all his clothes. This is what he said, but as I mentioned, he's a Country Gay and a carnie to boot so we shall see. Me cynical? Like I said he does seem nice enough.

Okay that's enough for the miscallaneous update. On with the specifics.