Night of the Demons

LON MILO DUQUETTE SYDNEY LECTURE - Monday 2nd November 2009

INTRODUCTION TO SOLOMONIC MAGICK

(No, not the fabulously schlocky movie starring Amelia Kinkade, sorry folks) 

I proudly brought along my Triangle of Art to this lecture for Lon to display as a prop. He was graciously impressed (although I'm sure he's seen much more beautifully constructed things of that ilk in his extensive travels).

The night opened with probably my favourite quote from Lon the whole time: "The Lesser Key of Solomon deals with spirits we might refer to as infernal. And the reason we might refer to them as infernal is because they come from Hell."

For those who quail at the very thought of invoking a demon from hell, the point was made that sometimes the esoteric is just the opposite of what the exoteric would have us believe (this is the essence of Qabalistic interpretation). Lon sees demons as the heavy machinery of the universe, like massive construction vehicles which are very useful - if you know how to use them safely. If you don't they will quickly become demolition equipment. They are wild forces, but the method of dealing with and controlling them follows a certain formula.Essentially the lecture took the form of Lon relating different stories from his own experience (and one or two from others) which were vastly different in their make-up, but still conformed to this Solomonic formula.

He first related in great detail the story of his first Goetic evocation of Orobas which he relates in My Life With the Spirits and Angels Demons and Gods of the New Millennium (I think). Buy those books for the story - it's fucking hilarious. Especially considering he had to use his child's bedroom to perform the operation: "Now son I'm gonne be in your room for a while, don't come in no matter what you hear."
"What're ya gonna do in there Papa?"
"Papa's gonna evoke a demon in there sport, hopefully he'll be gone by bedtime."

The big lesson in this experience of his for the likes of everyone else is that these demons may be in your head, or they may be external forces, but when you whip up a demon to deal with a problem it IS that problem, and you may have been fighting that demon your entire life - it is essentially creating a now or never, sink or swim situation where the fear and the anguish is confronted head on.

He makes a good point about "barbarous names" in that they have some value in terms of shifting you into a trance state, but using them in the construction of your Circle and/or Triangle may not be the best. The Divine Names you use should be particular to you. As shoudl the Invokation of Supereme Divinity. The prayers and invokations given in the Key of Solomon are not only long-winded and obtuse, but they are a little contradictory. They are basically the magician calling out to God and saying how worthless they are. "I'm pitiful, I'm dirt, I'm so so worthless, I'm not even worthy to lick the spittle dribbling from a slug that is worthy to lick the corner of your toenail, I'm so so shit, I can't do anything right, I'm a sinner, and I can't control myself, Gawd I'm so fucking tragic, I'm just nothing, I'm nothing BUT I WANT TO KNOW THE SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE!!!!!!!!!!!" Basically all you need to do is call upon that which is Most Divine to you, align yourself with that Divinity, and fill yourself with it. Lon calls it plugging in to upstairs. Essentially, if you trying opening the door to downstairs without having plugged in to upstairs you're going to have one Hell of a fight on your hands.

Lon's invokation is just the most brilliant and astoundingly individual innovation I've encountered in modern magick. On the mundane level, he sings the name of Ganesh 108 to the tune of "Pop Goes the Weasel" (no, really). But on a deeper level, there is the intense affection and love for the hindu god Ganesh that Lon feels. There is the act of expanding your universe and filling it with divinity until there is no space left but it is filled with God. This is followed by pulling all that back into yourself so there is No Thing but your universe, and you in it.

Little tidbits were useful - things the grimoires don't usuallyt explain very well, or do so in such an obtuse and roundabout manner that you're not sure what you're being told to do. For example, when the spirit arrives, you first show it the Pentagram, which binds them, and then show them their sigil on the reverse of the Pentagram - showing them you have bound them. Then you show the Hexagram if need be. Also something Lon has done on occasion when a spirit is being difficult is saying that he won't leave the circle until the spirit complies. As his circle is nothing more than a length of string laid around him, he simply picks this up and tie it around his waist and then go about his business. His innovative methods for threatening spirits were also greatly inspiring.

He related the story of a Catholic girls' school in Los Angeles he performed an exorcism on which was an astounding story probably too long to relate here. He related the sotry of the efficacy of the Goetic spirit Andromalius who is good at finding lost things - and in Lon's experience, specifically cars. My favourite example of this was Lon simple telling a woman who's ex-husband had run off with the car to draw a circle and triangle, call up the spirit with it's sigil and ask it to help. She took this further and drew the circle and triangle in the empty garage, drank and entire bottle of tequila while hurling abuse at the triangle as though it were her ex-husband. The car was miraculously back in her driveway the next morning.

In any case, this lecture made Solomonic evokation seem something I could actually one day perform. It's a question of needing to do it, and I'd still be shit-scared, but I now feel I understand the whole process better. I'm now looking for a perfect way to invoke Divinity for myself. Lon's method is so particular to him, and I can see how powerful it is simply because of that specificity. It excites and inspires me - much like the whole lecture series has done.

Wrapping the whole experience up, I feel invigorated beyond words - as though my world has changed, I've changed, and my magical practice can now never be the same, just like I can't nor can my world.

After the masses had gone I got Lon to sign some books. He drew an hilarious little cartoon of "Baba Lon" in my copy of Ordinary Oracles - after correcting a little editorial mistake he straightaway turned to. I'm now raring to get into some ENochian exploration. We have a group ready to go now - more than the small cabal of four of us from before. Now we have to get it off the ground!

I'll finish with my other favourite quote from Lon which was more serious than humorous was this: "The real magic is becoming Solomon, not doing the Magic." 

Intermission

LON MILO DUQUETTE SYDNEY TOUR INTERLUDE - Monday 2nd November 2009

THE BLUE MOUNTAINS TRIP

So before the first lecture Soror L came up to me and whispered in my ear "What are you doing on Monday?" I said I wasn't sure, but could find out, why? "I'm taking Lon sightseeing in the Blue Mountains and there's a space in my car, do you wanna come?" I said I'd clear my diary regardless of what it took. As it happened I had nothing on and I didn't have to clear anything.

I was picked up bright and early - Soror V was also in attendance. We then headed over to the house Lon was staying in and picked him up. Despite having spent several days in the same room as him and listening to him talk it was still just a wee bit awesome to be chatting to him.

We hopped in the car and headed off. Unfortunately I can't remember every brilliant story he related. I do remember one about some astounding cult-leader in America called Shaknar or something who is a large woman confined to a wheelchair who speaks in a rasp between gasps from an oxygen tank. Apparently they were for a time a vaguely Vodou cult until Shaknar woke up one day and said they were now Goetic magicians and that's what they all started doing. Bizarre. We learnt all about their family possum, which was just a beautiful story. I just loved listening to his accent, which he claimed was Mid-West with a bit of hybridisation. His "here", "art", "fight", "learn" and "take" vowels were the main differences. I need to work out how to insert phonetics in this blog - will make things much easier.

We went to the Common Ground cafe in Katoomba (Lon loved this place name, and rightly so) which is run by the creepy Christian cult called the Twelve Tribes. But let's not hold their cultishness against them TOO much - they make great coffee and the food is tasty, plus the cafe itself is just - so - CUTE. As a button. No really. Everything is made of wood in some way. Plus they have random patches of leather riveted to the wall here and there. And you'll suddenly notice two little hand crafted budgies sitting on a rafter nearby. Plus all the women walk with this bowed posture and skirts right down to their ankles in drab colours, and the men all have creepy adolescent beards. They're so friendly! It's apparently made up primarily of three families and "several single members." Anyway, Lon loved it. I related some of my Enochian Reiki vision to him which he loved. He made the completely obvious observation I can't believe I never made that the gesture the Kings gave me for ChoKuRei was basically a Xi-Rho. We spoke about numerous experiences we'd had in magic, which is always fantastic fun when magicians get together - especially when punctuated by Twelve Tribes members entering, eyes downcast, bearing trays of food and coffee.

We then headed down to the Three Sisters. I'd been many times as a child, and a few times since, but not for a few years lately. We could only do the main lookout as Lon couldn't do the full walk down, but that was enough. He was suitably impressed. Luckily Soror L knew the full story off the top of her head - I'd forgotten it years ago. The huge expanse of the valleys opened out before us and we took photos in the hopes of capturing something weird on film. Many many tourists. By this time the day had heated up a great deal and we were standing int he shade of rocks while looking out over the expanse before us. The lookouts in the Mountains always feel like you're standing in the prow of a ship, thrusting out over the sea of green. Mount Solitary looms in front, and the three huge crags to the left, the echo of waterfalls round to the right. Sublime Point encapsulates this feeling most - especially as it's usually so windy up there. Unfortunately we didn't really have the time to go there.

From the Three Sisters we took a bit of a scenic drive to a few more lookouts before heading to the Norman Lindsay Gallery. For those who don't know Norman Lindsay is one of Australia's most famous artists - who was the subject of the movie Sirens starring Sam Neill and Elle Macpherson. Lindsay lived in a gorgeous house in the Mountains with well-laid English-style gardens, including a man made pool complete with statuary. His house is now a gallery dedicated to his work and the gardens are filled with his sculptures. There was always a very Bacchanalian and Pagan (as was a significant part of the artist's life!) theme to his work and it's really one of a kind. We bought him a print of one of his more occult etchings on behalf of the eCT. I bought a print of "Visitants from the Moon." (right)

We had a leisurely coffee and cake at the gallery cafe before heading back down the Lapstone hill way and back to civilisation. A really unique and special day.

The Sorors and I left Lon to prepare for his final lecture that night on Solomonic Magic. We had a drink at the nearby pub before returning to pick him up - he gave us a quick rendition of his new Christmas song "If We Believed... Hilarious.

Qabalah Water

LON MILO DUQUETTE SYDNEY LECTURE - Saturday 1st November 2009

QABALAH - ZEN OF THE WEST (PART 2)

So where were we...? Ah yes! The beginning - 913 - BRAShYTh. Literally this means "In the beginning..." as I understand - but it's also interesting to note that BRA means "created" and ShYTh means "six." Doesn't really need much explanation. BR = pure, a field, son. RASh = a head. ASh = fire. I could even go further and say that there's a Head (RASh) in a House (BYTh) B - RASh - YTh. Which suggests to me the House of God, the Primum Mobile, etc.

So yes. In the beginning there is Nothing. Makes sense really. But this is a very special kind of Nothing - AYN (Ain) to be specific. This Nothing is so absolute that you can't even think about it. This is very appropriate really. If someone asks you "What is the supreme creative force?" you could say "God" or "Elohim" or some such. If someone then asks you what comes before God, you could say "Nothing." "What can you say about God?" "Nothing." This appeals to me, because nothing irks me more than people who think God is an old man with a white beard. Or that He is a Man at all. Or any single figure with any single specific mind and direct active will (see my previous post about Rabbi Cooper's "God-ing") That old man might be YHVH - the Demiurge, or creator God that THINKS it is God but is NOT God. Or he might not be.Having NO God before Him might more appropriately be rendered as having NOTHING before Him. No Thing comes before Elohim.

In any case imagine we have Nothing - No Thing. Or rather don't because you can't. From this No Thing-ness proceeds another kind of Nothing: AYN SVP (Ain Soph) - No Limit, Limitlessness. Infinity. In a way this is the corollary of trying to conceive of No Thing. Ain is impossible for our human minds to grasp. Infinity is just about as impossible, but a little easier to think about. If we are to go with the Creator idea, it's almost as if Nothingness realised how perfect it was and simultaneously and necessarily realised what it was Not - numerous beautiful renderings of this realisation exist - Robert Fludd had a whole series depicting this process. Nothingness contracts into itself, realising the Infinity it encompassed and at the same time was Not. In the space that was the diference between Ain and Ain Soph there is the third special kind of Nothing - AYN SVP AVR (Ain Soph Aur) - No Limit to the Light, Limitless Light.

AYN SVP AVR = 414 (non finals) = going forth (MShVTTYM) = Meditation (HGVTh) = Kadish or mourning prayer (QDYSh).

The realisation of Limitless Light appears to be - for the Creative Force involved, at once an active and a passive process. It is a going forth, yet it is a meditation - not that, as many esoteric traditions teach, meditation has to be passive. The link to Kadish or a mourning prayer is only right consdiering the Qabalaistic perspective of Creation(-ing) as a process of degradation or distancing from the God. The Perfect Nothing has realised it's Perfection, and in realising this Perfection, it realises Imperfection and begins the path to Manifestation that will eventually end in Malkuth. Because as Lon put it, saying that Nothing is Not means that Something Is. And that Something is One.

HOORAY!!!!! SOMETHING we can think about! ONE! This is the Crown, Kether - the Smooth Point, the Inscrutable Height or the Inner Light, as it is variously called. The God name of Kether is Eheieh (AHIH - 21) - "I Am" - the Divine Breath has been exhaled in a sigh upon realisation of Imperfection and it's first whispered words are self-identification.

From here the process of manifestation as represented in the Tree of Life diagram is extensively well attested in innumerable Qabalistic works. In a faint echo of the workings of Ain-Ain Soph-Ain Soph Aur, One percieves it's Oneness, and in order to do this must create duality - Two, Chokmah - as soon as this duality is created, the Ternary follows in order to be able to perceive this Duality - Three, Binah. All this is One thinking about itself. From here One crosses the Abyss from idea to actuality, giving rise to the 4th, 5th and 6th Sephiroth, which are reflected again, and finally manifest in Malkuth.

We had an interesting discussion about how Malkuth comes forth - specifically on the established Tree of Life diagram. Some highly secular analogies involving the One "pushing out" the Earth of Malkuth if you cathc my drift. All very amusing. Some theories mentioned about Malkuth originally having been higher on the Tree and being pushed down. For me it encapsulated the "Kether is in Malkuth and Malkuth is in Kether, but after another manner." Malkuth is the Kether of the Lower Worlds - showing us that Creation(-ing) is an unceasing outpouring.

From there we examined some Gematria, which is always fun, and a bit of Notariqon, etc. We all looked at our own names. Tried making them into squares. So a 3-letter name makes a 9-square grid. Then in the centre one can put a letter of choice depending on what sort of talisman or links you wish to make with your name. I was a bit astounded at the number of people there who had either never encountered this concept, or who simply couldn't grasp it. I've not got a particularly mathematical mind, but I do have a linguistic mind. I sometimes forget that Itaqke some things for granted too. But a couple of people there I know have been engaging in occult thought for decades, and still hadn't really encountered Gematria before.

All in all nothing drastically new in the day, but Lon really manages to make a lot of these vast and complex ideas very approachable. His explanation of Ain-Ain Soph-Ain Soph Aur was fantastic. He also gave us all a little card certifying us as Chicken Qabalists, which is just hilarious. I had him sign the back of it on the Monday as the Rabbi Lamed Ben Clifford. I'm getting it laminated.

The working through of his "10 Command-rants" was also excellent - I highly recommend everyone getting his book The Chicken Qabalah of Rabbi Lamed ben Clifford.

Next up is GOETIA!

Qabbalah Water

LON MILO DUQUETTE SYDNEY LECTURE - Saturday 1st November 2009

QABALAH - ZEN OF THE WEST (PART 1)

So the third installment of my Duquette experience was this fabulous day long workshop on the Qabalah - specifically Duquette's particlar take on it called "Chicken Qabalah" after his pseudoepigraphical character Rabbi Lamed ben Clifford's take. It was probably just as interesting hearing of the wiriter's process in creating such a character, abnd how the character is you, but can speak in a voice you never would - and inevitably begins to take on a life of its own.

Lon summed up the qabalistic approach very nicely with phrases like "Inscrutable Illumination" and "External Mysticism" (as opposed to the "Internal Mysticism" of the East). Qabalah is not a religion in and of itself - despite being tied intimately to it's Judaic roots - but it is priamrily a way of thinking. It is a way of thinking which orders the Universe into a neat and arbitrary package. I so appreciate Lon's use of the word arbitrary - again synchronistically it ties in with my current reading of The Occult Mind in which Lehrich asserts that any occult system of thought is necessarily arbitrary and culturally specific. This isn't a new idea, but he is somewhat distinctive in his acceptance of and tentative embrace of that fact (in his rigid academic and scholarly way).

The Qabalah is a system of Hebrew mysticism which uses the forms, symbolism and names of Judaic scripture. However its particular way of thinking is not entirely unique, and would actually be quite familiar to a lot of modern physicists.

We start at the very Beginning (a very good place to start) with 913. Yes that's right - BRAShYTh "In the Beginning..."

I'll have to come back to this post at a later point as I've run out of time at work...

To be Continued...!

Qabalah Water and Thothapalooza

LON MILO DUQUETTE SYDNEY LECTURE - Friday 30th October 2009

SPIRITS OF THE TAROT

Okay I couldn't think of a really witty blog title relating to Tarot. That's alright, I don't often talk about them. Lon's Lecture was a distillation of his book on Crowley's Thoth deck and ideas contained in a chapter of Chicken Qabalah. So they weren't necessarily new to me, but listening to Lon talk about it all was just fantastic. He related the story of designing his deck - the Tarot of Ceremonial Magick, which he had laid out on the table before him. The sheer complexity of the symbolism contained in each card was impressive, but when he showed how you could line the cards up to create an Enochian Great Table of Watchtowers I was staggered. It really did encapsulate the idea of the Tarot being a representation of the entire Universe.

His recounting of the history and development of the Tarot as we know it today was new to me. There is an excellent chapter in The Occult Mind by Christopher I. Lehrich (see right) concerning the Tarot and particularly how its nature expresses the nature of occult thought. I also have a book I am yet to read called Origins of the Tarot Deck which also extends to other games and divinatory systems.

Lon's take was very down to earth - as is to be expected - but suitably incorporating the spiritual element. The Tarot as we know them are undeniably spiritual objects, but how did they become more than mere games of chance and entertainment? Lon speaks fot eh two separate card games of Tarrochi and "Mamloc" (didn't get the spelling of this from Lon but after searching I found references to the Mamelukes (see Mamluk) as a likely precursor to the traditional deck of playing cards we are familiar with. The former contributed the Triumphs/Trumps - the 22 Major Arcana - and the latter contributed the 56 Minor Arcana.

Contrary to what some occult writers would have us believe there was no brainstorming convention of esotericists in antiquity when these cards were conceived and organised with precision. It has been demonstrated that these cards have no documented usage as anything other than a social past time and game prior to the 18th Century. Lehrich asserts a specific origin as a divinatory tool, but rather than being an act of occult significance it is more a misreading and misappropriate of scholarship and history from a time when Egypt was not the historical Egypt but "Aegypt" - the illud tempus or "time which is now and always" a time out of time. If there was an Aegypt which was the haven of idyllic spiritual understanding, then we have clearly fallen far from this pristine time. And if we have in our very hands the remnants of that knowledge and profound understanding we have lost, we can perhaps bring humanity closer to that prisca theologica (the doctrine of a single, pure and veritable religion, inevitably one which has been lost and many (most) religious and psiritual traditions are trying to recapture or aspire to).

Unfortunately the Tarot simply shifted themselves together with little to no planning. Lon's assertion is that if you shake anything (from a tray of magnetic sand over magnetic plates to a deck of cards to a cylinder of yarrow sticks, etc) they will fall along the same or similar lines which represent a Universal quality - a mathematical quality. We had a brief digression into Qabalah this night - which I'll go into at greater length in my next post about the Sunday workshop. Essentially we introduced the concept of Unity (divinity) dividing itself into a series of qualities, giving rise to common and familiar principles. 1 into 3 (Aleph - height, Mem - breadth, Shin - depth), which is at the same time 7 (these 3 principles seen as binaries - 6 - plus the central point - 7), which gfives rise to the cubic space of 12 edges.
- 3 dimensions, 3 primal elements, 3 mother letters.
- 7 points of intersection, 7 planets, 7 double letters.
- 12 edges, 12 signs of the zodiac, 12 simple letters.
This is the cube of space, seen in numerous esoteric traditions. It is the primal centre which unfolds at the moment of creation, and simultaneously is all of creation. It contains everything that was potential at the "beginning" and therefore everything that is "now" is still contained within it.

I'm again reminded of the illud tempus, and also of Reb. David A Cooper's book God is a Verb.The good Rabbi talks not about Creation (a thing which has happened) but Creation-ing (a thing which is ongoing) and not God (a man in the clouds with a white beard) but God-ing (a process, an outpouring, and action - i.e. a verb).

ANYWAY, Lon basically said that if you shake antyhing, it will fall along these universal lines. The Tarot fall along these lines. The Major Arcana are made up of 22 cards (3, 7, 12) which can each be linked to a Hebrew letter, an element, planet or sign of the zodiac, and the totality of the Tarot deck can then be systematically applied to other magical esoteric systems - the Tree of Life, the 72 Goetic demons, the 72 angels of the Shem ha-Mephorash, the temporal calendar, etc, etc.

The coolest thing Lon spoke about would have to be his own deck and the way he spent three days and two nights (I think) ritually invokiing every single spirit of the Goetia and the Shem-ha-Mephorash into the "mother" deck of his cards when he received it from the publisher. When you view the Tarot this way - every card does literally contain spirits because the represent a part or a facet of the Universe.

Further Qabalistic musings were great penny drop moments for me. Imagine a Qabbalist sitting thinking about God. God is one, God is Unity, God is perfect. What can you say about this God? Not much except that it is very unified, and one-ish and singular. What if we broke it in half? It wouldn't be as perfect as the One, but we'd be able to say more about it. Then we have the idea of Two - God is duality. Now we can say a bit more about God - hot/cold, high/low, good/evil, light/dark, etc, etc. What if we break it up a little more? Not as perfect as the Two, and certainly not that fabulous One, but what can we say about Three? LOTS of things! Not only do we have polar opposites but we have something in between - hot/medium/cold, high/middle/low, thesis/synthesis/antithesis, etc, etc. Breaking it up even more we get more and more facets and can see more and more unfolding from the One, but each, although containing the perfection of that One, is imperfect because of its distance and dependence upon the One. Now imagine that this Qabalist in not a little old Rabbi with a beard and a hat, but the One itself. All of this is the One thinking about itself.

I also had a major penny drop about Dee's Monas Hieroglyphia, which I read recently and must admit had a lot fo trouble understanding! But I finally got the whole 1 is 2 is 3 is 4 is 5 is 6, etc, etc. I might do a separate post about that.

In any case, according to the system of correspondences, as a Sagittarian born on the date I was, I fall under the following influences/have ties to the following Spirits:
- Major Arcana: Temperance (Art) card,
- Minor Arcana: Queen of Disks, 10 of Wands (Oppression)
- Archangel: Advakiel
- Angel: Saritiel
- Shem-ha-Mephorash Angel: Reiiel
- Goetia: Ronove
- Qlipothic Intelligence: Saksaksalim
- Order of the Qlipoth: Nachashiron - Snakey Ones

One question which still remains is the attribution of the 36 small or pip cards of the Minor Arcana to the Planets and Zodiac. Aries is the start of the Wheel of the Zodiac, but Saturn is the beginning of the Qabalistic planetary order, however in the system of attribution, the 1st decan of Aries is attributed to Mars, not Saturn. I naturally asked this question and Lon said it was a very good one. Apparently it was MAthers or Waite who made the attribution which essentially leads to the wheel starting with the energy of Mars dignified in Aries, and finishing with Mars in the 3rd Dec of Pisces, hence Mars is doubled up. This doubling gives the energy of the Wheel a little push over the edge. Personally I find this very arbitrary - the Wheel may just as well start and end with a double Saturn, which could symbolise a diminishing, or a death, commencing in a rebirth and moving on to an expansion with Jupiter. But, I know that this is a system, and as no system is perfect, it works in spite of - or perhaps because of - its imperfection.

Little snippet sof info I'd love to have been able to explore on the following day workshop on the Tarot include that all the Court cards reside in the Aces. Also the justification for the Shem ha-Mephorash attributions makes a lot of sense - there are 36 pip cards, and twice 36 is 72 - hence the 72 Shem ha-Mephorash angels and the 72 Goetic demons, so each card contains 2 angels and two demons.

Enough about Tarot, I could ramble for a lot longer and this is already epic!

Next will be some deeper Qabalistic analysis and ruminations!

Spirit Actions

LON MILO DUQUETTE SYDNEY LECTURE - Thursday 29th October 2009

Enochian magic has been a fascination since about 2005 when I read the dubious text "Enochian Magic for Beginners" by that pillar of scholarship Donald Tyson. I was at the time in the midst of my Reiki study and was most intrigued at the mention of these Angels Skilled in the Arts of Healing" in the eastern sub-angles of the Great Table of the Watchtowers. I designed a ritual whereby the system of healing I was familiar in - Reiki - could speak tot he system I was not familiar with - Enochian. It was intended as a first rite in which I very ambitiously wanted to contact all four kings of the Watchtowers. It was basically a Golden Dawn style usage of the material - I printed out the flashing colour tablets and used them and I relied on the pronunciation of the keys in "The Ritual Magic Manual" by David A. Griffin - probably the only time I've really used that thing, which I've since learnt is considered somewhat of an abomination, especially by orthodox Golden Dawn-ites. Despite it's hodge-podge nature, and the in some ways diametrically opposed systems, and despite my not insignificant terror at what could possibly happen, it was an incredibly successful ritual - incredibly! I found myself in a prolonged visionary experience full of imagery and landscapes I have since seen innumerable descriptions of, I received several symbols and gestures direct from the Kings, and a universe in itself was opened to me. I have since not returned to the Enochian universe, but have spoken to many a person about it, read a lot more (good and bad) and late last year/earlier this year plans were in the works to begin an Enochian working group with my Order Sorors and Fraters, which never properly eventuated, or rather, hasn't YET eventuated.

Enough personal history though - the lecture. Before it even started Soror L quietly took me aside and asked what I was doing on Monday. I said I wasn't sure and asked why. She said she was taking Lon sightseeing in the Blue Mountains and there was a spare seat in her car. She needed say no more - I said I would clear my diary and be there. More about that later. This night was my first meeting with Baba Lon and I was naturally nervous and awestruck at this towering and hilarious intellect. Very unassuming at first, his dry humour makes him somewhat of an esoteric stand up comedian. He takes the work absolutely seriously, but does not take himself seriously quite in the same way.

He started by introducing the origins of the John Dee and the contemporary thinking with regards to evoking spirits. It only then occurred to me that the proscribe act of ritually bathing and putting on fresh clothing prior to invokation would actually have been a pretty huge thing in that day and age, considering the cost of fabrics and seamstresses, and the fact that unless it was April, you wouldn't even think about putting deodorant on let along have a bath. That act had a simple yet profound significance it no longer has in this day and age of ubiquitous plumbing and irrigation. If taklen ritual showers or baths before, but rarely put into them the attention I think this fact necessitates. I may shower everyday, but a ritual shower is a ritual act.

Having read Woolley's "The Queen's Conjurer" I had a pretty good idea about how fabulous Dee was, but the point that Lon makes in "Enochian Vision Magic" is that the Enochian system as we know it would have been vastly different (and probably much more easy to understand and enter into) if ANYONE but a genius mathematician, philosophy, code-obsessed nerd like Dee had been the receiver. These angels spoke to him in such a way that his psyche would understand and respond. If they had spoken to a poet we would have had divine eloquence, if he had spoken to a musician we would be able to hear the mind of God in transcendent melody and harmony, but no, we had Dee - numbers, grids, geometry, vast complexity.

Duquette tradition informs us (this is Lon's key phrase for "this is not necessarily historically accurate") that Dee wanted to know if his friend Laski would be King of Poland. The angels said Sure! We'll tell you that. But first you need to understand what WE think of when we say "Laski" or "King" or "Poland"... or "Europe"... or "Earth"... or "Heaven"... or "planet"... or "galaxy"... or "Universe"... or "God." Lon argues that the angels set about circumscribing the entire universe for Dee and Kelley in order that they could contextualise themselves within in. This came in stages, building in complexity. He used the analogy of a beginner magician learning the Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram as a first order of duty. This gets the magician the illusion that he knows WHERE he is - it orients him on the Earth, or at least the Earth he thinks he is in. THEN he moves on to learn the Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Hexagram, which orients him in the Solar System, then he moves on to progressively more and more complex ritual actions which parallel the expanding complexity of his Universe.

We went on to briefly examine the Sigillum Dei Aemeth and the elegant structure of it and the dynamic nature of its construction - I loved his description of it as like a "basket" focussing energy woven together. We have the Lamen worn on the magician's breast, constructed from two misaligned tables, which reflects our imperfection as manifest human beings. We have the Holy Table itself, constucted from the same table which was flawed to make the Lamen, but has been corrected in it's alignment - making the Table of Practice a representation of the perfect Universe. So by wearing the Lamen the magician places himself as an imperfect part in the perfect universe and is drawn to perfection by virtue of what he wears.

We then as a group performed Lon's simple Enochian invokation and we all skryed the 30th Aethyr TEX. This involved a preliminary statement of sanctification, declaration of authority with the Ring and the Lamen - we put these on ourselves in our own minds because we didn't have a pretty gold one like Lon. We then began chanting the names of the letters around the outer edge of the Holy Table of Practice starting at the top right and working counter-clockwise. We chanted these seven times - 7 times circumscribing the edges of the universe. All the while Lon was chanting the letters in the centre of the Table 7 times.The visionary aspect began here. I felt hot all over and my legs just kept restlessly jumping, like I wanted to just leap up in the air. It was like air was rushing around up and there was a cacophany of activity. I could see the rows of chairs with the group of us sitting and chanting while the room around us was swept away. I'd like to say it was like we were rushing down a tunnel, but it wasn't quite.

We then said another mini-prayer before reciting in groups the words of the Tablet of Nalvage while Lon recited the Call of the 30 Aethyrs for TEX. We then finished this chant and Lon recited the Call again. This was when the visionary shit got really intense. The activity aroud us increased. Flashes of light, a dust storm of purple and orange and light and dark. Then there was something like an altar or plinth ahead - basically a truncated pyramid of yellow stone, like sandstone - spinning or approaching, then spinning again - a bit like the way the TARDIS in the more recent Doctor Who incarnation spins through space. The group, and the lines of chairs is gone and I am by myself in a sort of temple with a marble floor and square trapezoidal arches. The roof may be open, or it may not be. The altar is before me and seems to have some kind of pool of wtaer aroudn it - blacky-purpley water. There are people rushing everywhere around me - ghost like people that come and go, streaking past - a bit like an interdimensional Times Square. I hear words spoken all around me. Then there is no one there but me. Then the activity is back, then gone, then back. I kneel down, almost as if I am compelled, before this plinth. There is a male figure before me. (EXPLICIT INTERDIMENSIONAL BIZARRENESS WARNING:) I see an erect phallus. It's blue - sky blue. I take it in my mouth, then I don't, then I'm receiving fluid from it. Then the figure is gone. I see another hooded figure behind the plinth to the left of it watching me from under a hood. It steps behind a wall out of sight. Lon is meanwhile reading the names of the four Governors of TEX: DOXMAEL, TAAOGBA, GEMNIMB, and ADVORPT. Then I am alone there but for four figures staning around me.

I think it's a fair assumption these are the four Governors. So, being proactive, I draw one of the symbols I received from the Elemental Kings. The four Governors immediately burst into joyous applause. I then hear a voice saying DOXMAEL and one of the figures steps forward and draws a simple sigil in the air - it is like a boiling down of the original symbol. I repeat his gesture and they all applaud again. This gesture is repeated for all four symbols, each time a different Governor steps forward and traces a simplified symbol - which is at the same time a gesture. I'm planning another trip back to visit to try the original gestures I received, and also see their reaction to the strange Enochian phrase I received a long time ago, which first set me on the road to Enochiana. I tried this during this little group ritual, but we were pulled out of it and while the "state" of TEX held firm, the vision of it began to rock and disintegrate like a shakey hologram.

It ended with a few of us describing what we were seeing or had seen. A nuimber of us had experienced the sensation or image of spinning. Columns featured in others - and mine had slanted columns in that trapezoidal canopy.

We wrapped up the talk, and I was still floaty and awestruck. It was the most hilarious mind fuck I'd ever experienced. And I mean mind fuck in the best possible way - as my account of the Qabalah lecture will show.

I had a lift home from Frater D, and discussed the possibility of my attending his next Masonic Lodge meeting (another story I guess - I mention it only for the potential of personal posterity). I barely slept that night, but I didn't have a heap of wild dreams like I expected to. The following day many others had the same reaction - except Soror L who said she slept like a log. Darn her.

Raisin Affairs

LON MILO DUQUETTE VISITS AUSTRALIA!!

The road to hell is paved with good intentions of maintaining my poor neglected blog. And indeed the road to Hell was explored (if not really trod) this weekend past. Arguably one of the foremost occultists writing and practising in the (Western) world today, Lon Milo Duquette, and one of my favourite occult writers, has just completed (or will after his lecture for the OTO and Masonic folks tonight) the Sydney leg of his first ever Australian tour. I had heard rumours of this tour for over a year, and dates finally manifested about four or five months ago. When I heard I cleared my diary and spared (almost) no expense.We had the following:

Thursday: Introduction to Enochian Magic
Friday: Spirits of the Tarot
Saturday: Introduction to Crowley's Thoth Tarot (day workshop)
Sunday: Qabalah: Zen of the West (day workshop)
Monday: Introduction to Solomonic Magick - Goetia.

As it happened I could only afford one of the day workshops, so I went with the Qabalah - the Tarot evening lecture was enough, and as I understand there wasn't a lot I wouldn't already know, or couldn't work out myself. However it sounded like it would have been pretty awesome - aparently he went through each of the Major Arcana and dissected their origins, and the imagery in each of the Thoth deck and their significance/s and all the things you don't notice. Apparently Justice is the Fool's wife! Sorry I missed it, but glad I could do all the others.

I'm gonna do a separate post for each of the workshops because their focus was quite different, even though many of the elements beld into eachother - unavoidable in Western occultism. My companions for the weekend were e:.C:.T:. Sorors L and V and Frater D, and a few other folks I know, or met there including a Gnostic priest who is the only other individual I've met who was loopy enough to construct a bodybuilding altar (gave me ideas for mine actually) and proposed we go into partnership (in the gym that is).

The whole weekend has really galvanised me, and in more ways than simply being charged with an electrical current. Duquette's approach to spiritual inquiry and the practical exploration of self, divinity and the universe is at once profoundly deep, and profoundly whimsical. Possibly my favourtie quote from the lectures was "The big magic is becoming Solomon, not doing the Magic [itself]" which reminded me so strongly of the e:.C:.T:. aphorism: "It is the work of the magician to change his mind." Duquettes special skill to is to make complex and daunting ideas straighforward and understandable (if not necessarily easy or simple).

So here is the story of my "adventure" this weekend, and it was an adventure, because as Lon says, every adventure makes you a different person, which I am now more keenly aware of than ever...

Raisin Affairs

Greetings, first post for a while! In short, I finally have a home net connection. The only minor problem is my coputer is slow as hell (constructed in the Dark Ages), but I'll be remeying that soon.

Meantime I can start producing some more consistent posts!

Beyond the Wall of Sleep

Further to my bizarre dream shouting "Zaka!" to a hurricane then clearing up after in the aftermath - finding bottles of oil...

It seems that ZAKA in Hebrew (Zayin-Qoph-Aleph = 108 = BABY HNChL (fruit of a deep valley) = ChMS (force, do wrong to) = ChQ (to measure out, a decree; tall) = ChTzY (the middle) = A'aZAL (a giant) ) is an Israeli humanitarian aid organisation (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ZAKA) run largley by Orthodox Jews, whose motto is "Chesed shel Emet" - True Kindness. There is much more to this dream than I first thought. Especially considering the minor emphasis in the Qabalah on GRACE (ChN), which can very easily be related to the Sephiroth Chesed - Mercy, kindness, infinitely giving force - a word which ennumerates to the same as the word for "oil", which in this dream was literally "bestowed from above."

Preliminaries:

Chesed shel Emet

ChSD ShL AMT = 72 + 330 + 441 = 843
843 = RGLYM "that goes on foot" (makes sense - true kindness doesn't take the express train - suggests work involved - specifically footwork, humility, unembelished, simple - suggests journeying, travelling somewhere)

Notaricon: ChShA = 309
309 = MVSGR (a leper - fabulous, hmmm... ostracism, pariah, exclusion, Hermit? - long bow to draw...)
= ShDH (field, soil, land - i like it, I'm thinking true kindness, that salt of the earth kindness - it also suggests something of a prima materia; I mean soil full of potential, land free to be worked upon; could also refer to field as a wild field I wonder? should ask a Hebrew speaker about that, whether this field is a tilled field or a wild one)

ChSD (kindness, mercy) = 72 = AMAL (sorrow, toil, travail, trouble, wearinsome) = BSVD (in secret?) = A'aB (thickness, cloud) = VYKLV ("and they are excellent, finished")

ShL (by itself meaning "error") = 330 = MTzR (boundary, terminus, crosspath) = SA'aR (revolution, HURRICANE, tempest)

AMTh (truth, Temurah of ADAM via Aiq Bekar) = 441 = GChLTh (a live coal)

Further Research

According to another English Hebrew translation site Hurricane is translated as either:
1. SVPH (151)
2. SVPTh HVRYQN (546)
3. TVRNADV (276)

I'd favour the first as the second two are basically transliterations of the English words into Hebrew.

Olive Oil:
1. ShMN ZYTh (807)
2. YTzHR (305)

Wall:
1. KVThL
2. ChVMH
3. QYR
4. DVPN
5. ND
6. QVThL
7. ShVR ??


Debris:
1. ShPVKTh
2. MPVLTh
3. BLYTh
4. ChRBVTh ??
5. A'aYY MPVLTh
6. ShPK (f) A'aYYM (f)

Wreckage:
1. HRS
2. ShRYDY HThRSQVTh
3. ShBRY ANYH

Aftermath:
1. LKSh
2. ThVTzAH

I'm running out of time at work here so I'll have to come back to this fascinating anaysis. There's much more to Chesed shel Emet though, I'm sure. I want to put it through the wringer.

In My Hyperbolic Opinion

"Decadence" by Steven Berkoff.
TAP Gallery, Sydney

The TAP Gallery, for those not versed in the independent theatre scene in Sydney, is a small theatre and art gallery in the trendy Darlinghurst area in the inner city. The gallery is spacious and a little bit funky. The theatre is tiny and a little bit hazardous (fire hazardous that is - long dark corridor to a small space full of electrical equipment with only one exit back down said corridor). But this is not the fault of the production in question. However what can undeniably be laid at the feet of Inner City Arts, who produced this abortion, is a show which matched a cast of actors with material much too big for them, terrible accents, atrocious use of Berkoff's rich language, and a near total lack of stylistic cohesion or storytelling.

Now I'm very willing and quick to encourage people with less experience or fledgling abilities to work hard and challenge themselves. But have a realistic sense of what is within your grasp. I'm not normally one to say anything actively nasty about an actor's ability, but just because you've done a million eistedfodds and spent years in private tuition doesn't mean you're necessarily any great talent or authority, just that a tutor was happy to take all that money off your hands. Two of the cast members were graduates of AADA, and I must admit they at least seemed to have some grasp of the theatrical, if a rudimentary one, and that's not taking into account the other major deficiencies of this production. The two males of the cast seemed to be suffering from some kind of neurological disorder for much of the play, their physicality completely dominating every aspect of their performance - possibly an attempt on their, or the director's part to complement the heightened language with heightened physicality - but the mistake there is that Berkoff's words do more than enough work in that department. Overt physicality just completely subverted the writer's linguistic ingenuity - like slapstick in a Noel Coward play.

With regards to the accents, I do have to insert the standard caveat that as an accent & dialect specialist I am overly sensitive to slip ups. However. These were not accents. They were abominations. Especially in the case of one female who, far from the Received Pronunciation she was attempting, appeared to be speaking a language all of her own. I couldn't discern whether her difficulty arose from English being a 2nd language (suggested by the "hip"-"heap"distinction being lost - Spanish? - and by the "cat" vowel being substituted for the "strut" vowel - Spanish or other Romance language possibilities) or from overcompensation from her own underlying dialect, such as American. Another possiblity which could account for the aforementioned phonetic discrepancies (the only consistent thing about the accent) was some kind of Asian language, owing to the rhythm. IN ANY CASE, I could barely understand th emajority of what she was saying. To her credit though, whether by accident or design (I'm inclined towards the former) she was the only actor who really engaged with Berkoff's dynamics and rhythms, and the only actor whose characterisation and physicality had any specificity - even if it was a little over the top (understatement).

Her scene partner very loudly mumbled his way through his lines, completely stripping the words of any story, while the other male was basically attempting an imitation of Berkoff himself (or perhaps Rain Man), while simultaneously trying unsuccessfully for the most part to erradicate his own distinctive speech patterns (sybillant /s/, nasality) - his outrageously overdone physicality also smacked of a desperate bid at overcompensation - a parody of machismo bereft of the threat the audience must percieve from that character. The other female was just all over the place vocally, a very general Cockney with startlingly Aussie sentences popping up. Her attitude was right, but damned if I could tell what she was on about.

Stylistically it leapt from attempted realism to surrealism to hyper-realism to absurdism from scene to scene, and occasionally from line to line. Certainly from actor to actor. Another way to put it could be that there were four actors in four different plays most of the time, and not one of them was telling any kind of story. A lot of the time I was completely lost as to the crux of the scene, and if there was plot (I'm sure there was) I couldn't see it, even from the glimmers which darted into view between the overly pregnant pauses and the hammy Mr Bean antics of the male actors. I couldn't help but hear my first-year acting teacher's old addage about "playing MOOD" - it is DOOM spelt backwards, and the general mood of this whole production certainly spelt doom for an entertaining night of theatre from the first few lines spoken on stage. What was lacking throughout was PURPOSE. Why are these characters here right now, and why is THIS the moment we are invited to watch? And WHY should we care or be interested?

And to add insult to injury, the show was two hours in length, with no interval. To be frank this can only display a lack of experience, or a lack of confidence. If the latter I could hardly blame them because I certainly would have left given any chance, but the space being such as it is, I was literally trapped in there wondering what would happen if a fire broke out in the gallery, and thinking about my car parked in a 1 hour zone, adamant that if I got a parking ticket, I was billing the company. Thankfully both parties were saved the trouble.

Upon reflection that's probably the harshest review I've ever written. But I stand by it. It really was one of the worst pieces of theatre I've been subjected to, rivalled only by "Desdemona" also in the TAP many years ago, and Lachlan Philpott's "Catapult" at the New Theatre, and "Whistle Down the Wind" in London. Honourable mention must go to Barrie Kosky's "King Lear" of about 10 years ago. I would have walked out if it hadn't been a school excursion.

Sinister Pincushions

Further to my last post, I've continued to have frequent and vivid dreams. Most of which I couldn't remember. One involved many people all walking around carrying bunches of key, usually gold or brass keys with some silver as well. Had another where a large girl dressed in black lace was being fed and asking for something called "mangalangas" which she had been promised - I've searched for what this may be but couldn't find anything.

The Country Gay is definitely moving out, and the Tall Doctor is moving in. This name comes from the fact that he is a PhD student, 26, and about a foot and a half taller than me. I'm bang on 6' and I was majorly looking up to him. I'm sure he's not really 7.5' but I'm not used to looking up to people so my perspective is skewed.

Another post to follow, reviewing an awful piece of theatre I was subject to last night.

Beyond the Wall of Sleep

EDIT: I'm leaving this post up for now as a reflection of where I was at the time, but DO NOT buy Kenaz Filan's books. He is a proven white supremacist with incredibly problematic and contradictory views to his works on African Diaspora Traditions. 

Aaaaaahhhh!!!!! (that's a scream, not a sigh)

I've been counting on the deadbeat Country Gay flatmate moving our of our house for months now. I've been searching (with no help at alll from my two other flatmates) for someone to take the room for all that time with no success. His moving out would mean that I could get the net hooked up to the house with a deal I could afford. As it is I'd be paying for it all by myself and that's just too much. I know I say this every sporadic post on here, but I'll have the net at home soon and start using this thing the way I intended to all along - hot men, occult insights, theatrical/filmic rants, and so forth. Also much less rambling (except in aforementioned rants).

I thought I'd pot on here mostly because I had an intense night of dreaming last night, and considering the renewed work with the Lwa I've been doing that's no surprise. I've also just finished reading Kenaz Filan's book so the Lwa are on my mind in more ways than one.

I'll get to the dreams in a sec, but just quickly, the book itself was very good for what it was. It's a beginners introduction to Vodou, what it is, what the major aspects to practising the religion are, who the major players are, and what you can do (and not do) to get started with serving the Mysteries.

It's always fascinating to me how different the approaches to Vodou can be from house to house, and Mambo/Houngan to Mambo/Houngan. As a non-initiate, and particularly as a white, western non-initiate, I'm natural;ly always looking to find the "best" way to do things, the most respectful and appropriate way to serve. For instance, the two MAmbo's I have worked with and several books I ahve read have always placed an enormous emphasis on the Ancestors. Before doing anything in Vodou you must honour your Ancestors. Filan's book certainly highlights the importance and value of Ancestral service, but it comes in the section relating to the Ghede and the dead, and is far from an emphasised aspect of the Vodou he presents. I'm not saying this is wrong or right, but it is very interesting to me. The value of this book is that he makes the religion and some of its more frequently served spirits very approachable. He doesn't mince words, but says "You can't do this or that without being initiated, so don't try it" or "I can't tell you this because of my oaths." This makes respect for Vodou and its protocols of primary importance, and while I'm sure it won't stop young readers from doing things because they are dangerous, it certainly isn't whitewashed. I know when I was first starting out I went straight to buy a gourd rattle and shook that thing all over the place because, being from a ceremonial background I wanted something to use like my dagger - something to "command!" But Filan makes the excellent point that the Lwa would not doubt see this as very disrespectful seeingas I have not undergone kanzo and Papa Loko has not given me the asson. Not that my cheap imitation could come near to it, but the action itself could be misconstrued as an upstart dressed in a borrowed police uniform (terrible analogy, but you get the idea). Worse still they could take the rattle as read and trreat you like an asogwe, and either become justifiably pissed off when you don't respond or behave accordingly, or go all out leaving you in a state you can't get yourself out of. Now I haven't used that thing for years, because after I attended my first Vodou service I just felt instinctively that it was not appropriate.

Another intriguing difference between my understanding and Filan's presentation is that he lists Kalfou (Carrefour) among the spirits you may wish to approach. Granted he does make Kalfou's extremely volatile and dangerous nature abundantly clear, but mentioning him in a beginners book does not accord with my understanding of just how dangerous he CAN be. Powerful, yes, effective, yes, but not if you can't control him. Again I'll say this has only been my understanding from what I have been taught/have read.

But Filan himself is at pains to demonstrate make the varied and changeable nature of Vodou from house to house and practitioner to practitioner. His book is an excellent introduction to the religion, and even gives advice on how to find a teacher (basically geared towards the United State, but hey, how many Haitian communities are there in Australia, etc?). I'm going to lend it to my bf, not so he can "convert" and begin practising with me, but so he understands more of what it is I do. Although being the Virgo that he is, I'm worried he may worry! Filan's book is quite clear about the potnetial dangerts of Vodou, which is why it is so appropriate. He makes it clear that you can't approach Legba like he's "just an aspect of Mercury" - the Lwa are distinct and separate being with complete personalities and likes and dislikes.

Now I have a three altars set up in my house (actually on my own balcony, but it has louvers I can close off. Not ideal, but not much else I can do): an ancestral altar, an all purpose one I only have some Rada spirits on (not having worked with/met any of the Petro nanchon), and one for the Ghede. I have been maintaining these as much as possible with my ridiculous schedule, as well as fulfilling obligations I have to certain spirits.

I had an intense dream last night involving a hurricane which rose up in a town where I lived. It rose by the water. There was a huge brick wall the height of a small office block. I called out to the tornado "Zaka!" (lwa of agriculture, farming, gossip... - I literally only just remembered this while typing) and the twister burst through this wall. I saw hundreds of thousands of objects spinning through the air, stirred up by the tornado.

The tornado disipated and the dream moved on to me walking through the wreckage along with many others, sifting through the debris. I was technically looting - finding things I could use and putting them in a bag. There were lots of things, but the only ones I remember were a few bottles of olive oil - one very green, and the other a more pale yellow colour. They were cold - with precipitation on them. Perhaps I picked up fruit and vegetables as well, perhaps a comb. I remember some sweet things too. I can't remember much more. The gathering of objects from the rgound and placing them in a bag is very Zaka (or Azacca) related, but a tornado? I'm not sure. Inasmuch as Zaka is linked to the world of farming, not nature per se I wonder that I refered to a tornado - an entirely natural force - as Zaka is intriguing.

There was a second portion to the dream which has faded now. I'm going to (re-)start a dream diary.

That's all for today (or is it....?)

Pumping Iron

So wow, I have a little bit of time to look on here and update briefly.

The Guy is now more of a boyfriend now, which is nice. He officially changed his relationship status on Biblio Faccio last night. Hilarious how significant this act has become. I haven't yet because the El Salavdorean has to be informed first, as does another guy or two. To simply change my status would be disrespectful, and The Guy understands that.

Most significantly, The Guy and I have trained together twice now. He is a bit proponent of High Intensity Training (HIT) and a fan of Mike Mentzer, and a huge fan of Dorian Yates. So his workouts are completely different in style to what I have done historically. I've been used to High Volume Training: usually doing about four or five exercises per bodypart, each with three to four sets on each. HIT basically involves exhausting the muscle through a series of 5-6 different exercises, each with only one working set, and doing warm-up sets early in the workout. There's a shitload more to it, which I'm still becoming au fait with, but the results and my experience of it has been extremely inspiring. I barely broke a sweat in the first session we did (delts and tris), but the muscles were so ridiculously exhausted, and very sore the following day. But a few days later I swear my shoulders looked bigger. No I know that's basically in my head, but it was bloody inspiring.

My old style was both aerobically exhausting as well as anerobically - the former sabotaging a lot of the latter. I was also overtraiing and sabotaging significant gains. I ate well so I wasn't feeling too much fatigue or any of the more serious symptoms of overtraining, but I wasn't really getting anywhere in terms of strength and size gains.

My back workout involved two warm up sets of bent over rows with a barbell, then a working set on a row apparatus I could load weights on. I added a few more reps on to that with rest-pause (finishing the working set, counting to 10, then cranking out one or two more - option to do a second round of that). Then did a warm up on lat pulldown, then a working set (plus rest-pause). Then a working set on bent over dumbell rows. Then a bicep cable curl to blast the arms I'd already been working in my back exercises (one warm-up, one working with rest-pause and static hold). All the time concentrating on the negative portion of the movement (lowering of the weight). In my chest workout I've taken to doing however many dips I can do to failure, then just stepping to the top and doing purely negatives (just lowering to the floor without pushing back up) until failure.

The Guy is going to lend me some of his books (one or two he won't lend because they're well-loved, and ocnstantly revisited - totally understand as a bibliophile). I'd really like to read more.

Pimping News

Another post! A miracle. Hopefully this will be less verbal diarrhea than the last.

In short I'm basically now able to say I'm seeing someone. So less pimping, and more... not sure what an amusing antithesis to pimping would be. It'll come to me.

Started as a friendly message on Biblio Faccio because we were both interested in bodybuilding, and neither of us actually knew anyone in the real world who also was. Messages just got longer and longer and we ended up meeting for lunch. It was a 1:30 lunch date, and I was seeing Grace Jones that night (another story!) and meeting my friend with the tickets at 7:00 for dinner. I figured I'd have plenty of time between lucnh and then to head home, and shower and change for Grace. But we were talking non-stop from 1:30 through to 6:30 and I ended up going straight to meeting my other friend.

From there we met to see a movie (Slumdog Millionaire - gorgeous, delightful, heart-rending, beautiful, uyplifting), then followed a few more dates inlduing Australia Day where we met to go to see Monet and the Impressionists at AGNSW but the line was outrageous so we ended up walking through the crowds to Circular Quay where we ate lunch, then we ended up going back to his place in the evening where he showed me all his bodybuilding books and we just talked into the night. Nothing happened. I think we were both a little shy.

Next time we met up to train together at Fitness Last. He's into High Intensity Training in the Mentzer/Yates style. Completely different way of training for me. Then we went back to his place again, and I took the plunge and kissed him, for which I think we were both grateful. He's since stayed at my place once, and come over for lunch another day. Tomfoolery ensued.

To be frank all the other serious bodybuilders I've ever met (with the exception of Con Demetriou who was just lovely - not to mention hot as hell) have been arrogant, and superior in their manner, and demonstrably macho. This guy is softly-spoken, sensitive, considerate, articulate, sweet, and just adorable all round.

A few years ago I had a joke that all I needed was a single, gay, attractive, decent, stable, bodybuilding wog - how hard is that? Oddly enough he fits all those criteria.

The road to Hell...

... good intentions etc. Specifically good intentions of updating this blog regularly, AND starting to log ritual experiences, AND starting to spice it up with some hot and inspiring musclemen.

Alas all is for nought when one has no internet connection at one's hot new home, nor enough shifts at work in a week where one can hop online regularly. No.

So this is the first post in however long, and it may be a little longer before the next post. But a next post there will be, be assured!

I'm currently in the penultimate week of rehearsal for a play which is part of Sydney's Mardi Gras Festival. It's a fabulous play, and I have a true gift of a role. I also have to do it in a sustained accent, which is a great challenge. I teach other people how to talk like New Yorkers, Hillbillies or Warwickshire farmers all the time, but it's a while since I've had to play a character in accent. This one is a New York Jew. I'm having trouble getting consistency with the short back-mid vowel in not and stop. It keeps veering more GenAm than New York - and of course the more pronounce the NY diphthong is, the more Jewish he sounds, and the director wants him to be a little softer. Hmm... It'll come together. First rehearsal on the set tomorrow night. Excitment.

I'm also the dialect coach on three other productions at the moment. Yes, typical Sagittarian. Just can't say no. If it'll help me meet new people and have new experiences, I'm in. And I'll find a third end of the candle to burn in order to be there. One of the plays is Angels in America Part 1. I now have a bit of a theory that the playwright Tony Kuschner read a bit of Western Occult literature in the writing of this play. Repeated Hebrew phrases like "Ha-adam, ha-gadol... Zefirot, Zazahot..." The appearance halfway through to Prior Walter of a vision of a book with steel pages and a burning Aleph emblazoned on its open page. Also the Angel keeps referring to "the breath" and "the ascent," "infinite" space, spheres, "Daughters of Light" etc. The final moment of Part 1 involves the actual arrival of the Angel, and the script specifies that there is blinding light shifting fiorst from pale light blue, to burning gold, to forest green, to royal purple, and finally bright white. I'm going to look in my 777 and my Stephen Skinner tonight to see if that figures in a particular colour scale... There's certainly a shitload of transmutational imagery and metaphor. The whole idea of Prior being infected, but having a part, deep in his core which is free of disease - like a spark of divinity. The idea of ordeal, initiation, there's a sexual edge to every encounter with the angel, and after this is "consummated" Prior is a "prophet."

Penny drop moment! Hadn't even thought of the parallel with Dee and Kelley before - ushering in a new age, the "Milennium Approaches" - Prior becomes a prophet, just as Dee and Kelley were ordained prophets of the new age - the Enochian angels were also all fire, poetry, hermetic, sexuality (let's NOT forget the wife-swapping episode), and most importantly, apocalyptic. One age must end as another begins, like the Rosicrucian Enlightenment, Christianopolis, etc. Prior finds a book under his floor in which must be written the new scripture. It's amazingly parallel.

I'm going to do some more research on Kuschner now. I love his writing (Bright Room Called Day was breathtaking - also features angels, and the Devil himself, no less).

Hmm... a lot more to talk about. Most notably in Pimping News - I'm on date number four with a lovely guy. Pumping Iron has been depressing me because of all the shit I'm doing I'm barely lucky to manage two days in a week. I'm just trying to not freak out about it, because I know this is just a two or three week period which will pass. Of course it doesn't help that Mr Fourth Date is a bodybuilder who goes four days a week, and I'm keenly aware of my "talk" of training and that I'm not currently doing much of any of it. Like I said, I'm trying to just keep perspective.

Okay, fingers crossed i'll find time for another post soon!

Pumping Iron

Wed 7th Jan 2009

Second day back with full body routine. Was really pressed for time, but I managed everything except cardio. Plus side of the lack of time though was my intensity was doubled, despite initial soreness, and endurance was much better.

Cardio: none

Comp. squat/shoulder press: 7x20; 8x20
Comp. lunge/one arm cable row: 4x20/20
Standing cable press: 4x20/20
Tri pushdown: 6x20; 7x20 }
} superset
Bicep curl (cable): 5x20/6x20 }
Cruches: 30/25

I then went outside into the humidity and swam all the way home. Sydney has been ridiculously hot lately.

Pumping Iron

Monday 5th Jan 2009

First day back after a month off. And what a month! Planning a week of full body at least - considering my workload, I can't go too heavy or I'll shatter myself before having to work.

Cardio: 3mins/100 strokes on rowing machine

Comp. Squat/shoulder press: 7kgs dumbells x 20/20
Comp. Lunge/one arm cable rows: 4 x 20/20
Standing cable press: 3x 20/20
Tri pushdown: 6x 20/20 }
} superset
Bi curl (cable): 5x 20/20 }
Crunches (on ball): 30/25

Almost stopped after first superset as I felt a bit queasy, but I risked it, and all was well.